Focusing on that one person you are writing for to keep you motivated and on track

{825 words — 4-minute read}

You’ve decided to write a memoir. Perhaps you’ve gotten farther than having decided, and you’ve written 500 words, 5,000 words or even 50,000 words. Unless you’re writing in a volume with a lock on it, you have an audience in mind. Most of us start by thinking our audience is everyone — our story will have universal appeal. Or if we’re thinking real-world, we think NY Times Best Seller list — our story will make us famous.

This thinking can be inspiring. It can even be motivational in certain ways. But long term, as you try to write, it will tie you in knots. It will make you feel like a loser at many points along the way because almost every writer’s first draft is — how shall I put this politely — a “crappy first draft.” The exception might have been Truman Capote, who was known for sitting down and writing until he was done telling the story, and he was done. His first draft was his polished final draft. (But maybe that in itself is just a story.)

You need to narrow your focus as you write. It’s sort of like the advice speechmaking teachers give (no, not the advise to imagine your audience naked): Look out at your audience, however large, and pick one person to speak to, one person to direct your message, one person to captivate.

Who then are you writing your story for? You might interpret that as asking who should the FIRST reader be.

Frame the question differently: If only one other person reads your memoir — a reader you construct in your mind, not a real particular person — who would YOUR IDEAL READER be? Who is the person who would most benefit from your memoir and appreciate it? For this exercise, look beyond your family, unless you know that you have no desire or intention of sharing your story with a wider public. Spend a few minutes doing this. Now write as specific a description of that person as you can. I was given this exercise by a coach toward the beginning of writing my memoir.

Get specific — socioeconomic status, age, family background, reading preferences, life experience and hobbies. This person is not every reader or a broad swath of them. Yes, you’ll exclude many readers who will likely benefit from and enjoy your memoir. For this reason, keep it private.

The aim is to focus you; as you write, you are speaking to this one special soul. Don’t be modest or small in your goals in sketching your Ideal Reader. By describing yourself as having purpose and value, you will magnify your commitment.

In developing your Ideal Reader profile, recognize that your memoir writing is not a static project. As you write, your memoir may evolve. And with that, your Ideal Reader may evolve. As with the Mission Statement that you might draft (discussed in my “You’re a Writer on a Mission” post), your Ideal Reader profile is something to refer to regularly . . . and adjust as necessary.

I was proud of the Ideal Reader I created; it helped me greatly at numerous times along the way. However, I made the mistake of oversharing my sketch. Don’t make my mistake. It made sense to describe my Ideal Reader to the writers group where the challenge was posted. But I went further and included it in an early draft of my memoir, which I shared beyond the writing circle, with a small book club I’m part of. I knew my book club would appreciate the book, but I also knew they didn’t fit with my Ideal Reader; they reflected a broader audience. You don’t want readers to say, as in fact one book club member did, “Well, this isn’t me. So why should I read this book?” Luckily, she pressed on and enjoyed my book.

Keep in mind that, once you create your Ideal Reader, you are not necessarily stuck with them. Especially in the editing phase of your memoir, you may realize, as I did, that your Ideal Reader is actually different from what you originally thought. Allow yourself to adjust and change.

So who was the Ideal Reader I first created for A MEMORY MOSAIC, and the Ideal Reader who evolved? For now, I will keep that private. Perhaps sometime down the line, I’ll share it in a future post.

But the funny thing is that, after I completed my book, I realized that the Ideal Reader, the audience I was most directly speaking to and writing for, was me. This was a realization that I’m glad I didn’t see until I was finished with the book. While writing and editing, I kept myself motivated by telling myself, “You’re a professional writer, editor and publisher with a wealth of knowledge to impart from 40+ years of experience.” But as much as any reader of my book might be, I was the neophyte memoirist needing someone to show me the way.

{This column was adapted from A Memory Mosaic, my memoir-plus.}